I was checking my facebook account and came across to one of my friends post, which she exultantly announced her pregnancy. Then it struck me again, a sharp pain and sadness in my heart. Seems like most of my friends nowadays are happily becoming pregnant while I am trying for quite sometime but failed to do so. Last month was a month full of psychological exhaustion and I was beat down. I took some ovamit pills and had an transvaginal ultrasound for follicle monitoring but AGAIN it failed, I failed, seems like I always do. Where do I go? working in a hospital makes me encounter pregnant woman and their children, which makes the whole in my heart bigger, deeper and painful. People keep telling me not to stress my self thinking about my hearts wish to have my own child; and yes I am trying to do. This blog is my niche, this is were I can shout, scream, cry and laugh; I can say whatever I want, whenever and no matter what. Regardless of how I am doing my best not to pressure my self and not allowing sadness take control of my life, I am still dying inside.

Often times we humans tend to be more emotional and deeply engrossed when sadness or adversity take a ride in our life. All the questions and confusions that surround us are like hurricanes that strongly sweeps away all our optimistic character and we become vulnerable. Where do life take me when all I want is to have a child?! will it happen or will I hope for nothing? Suddenly the world seems too dark, seemingly I hear no melody in my life, quietly I want to scream and shout?! Do I make sense?! Does anyone hear my cry? Does anyone know how I can heal this wound inside? WHEN CAN I HAVE and HOLD you in my life?! Someone please help me be strong and optimistic as I fought this battle in my life.

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