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Be Just and Fair!

There are certain facts of life that cannot be ignored. We leave in a world that is unfair and full of uncertainties. With people who can be your best friend but who may become your enemy in a second. Some may be so unfair and inconsiderate, who seems to want to rule the world. I am not perfect nor I am that good but each day I learn to be more aware and sensitive to the other people and the difficulties they faces. To treat each people with a respect and compassion, thinking that each one of us are carrying our own burden so we need to be more selfless. Yes, indeed people around us teach us lessons sometimes too vague to comprehend. There are some who for selfish reasons rather be selfish than being just and right. Narcissism will never take you far from what being true to others and even your self. Before any decisions are make mark in your mind to always place a just and fair understanding to the situation not because you have to but because you ought to, not because they are your friend and you aren't. You say you are who you are and those friends you are with. Yet, thus the friendship true meaning exist when others are being belittle and scorn? Do you want to be treated fairly? or you just don't give a damn at all?!!!!

Certainly we have our own set of different personalities, some may not like by others or similar grounds bind you somehow. Yet, it doesn't necessarily mean that if two people differs in opinions and belief should be ignored and be unwanted; nor it should be belittled and scorn. Why won't you give a chance to know the person before judging them?! Above all learn to be just and fair to those who you may seem to have different perspective and personality; after all they deserved to respected like you want to be too. If a person reaches out their quintessence to you regardless if you differ in some aspect of life should be acknowledge and be thankful that you are being given importance. Weigh things equally and rightfully before making a decision. Learn to duly think of the consequences of your actions if you are not stepping to anyone's foot or may vitiate their feelings. The Golden Rule of Karma always prevails; what you don't want others to do to you never inflict that to them too. Be JUST and FAIR if you want others to be do the same to you!!!!

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Sick

I am sick. I have cough and flu. I am not feeling well physically, mentally and emotionally. There are too many things that's bothering me all at once. I need to look for another house, pay bills, work, overcome depression, see my OB, look for money, cry and try to distress. I have waited and loss 3 months in hoping for my baby. RE told me after the HSG last February to wait for 3 months and try if we can conceived naturally, again I failed. I feel like a failure. I skip another month on my period so I need to see my RE soon, though I know that she'll just prescribed me with a medicine to help me menstruate. I am trying not to hope again that maybe this time it will work. I am so exhausted with these crap. How can I spend my life without a child? Will my husband still love me after all these difficulties we face? I am scared, frightened of the thought I may not able to bear him a child. I am slowly losing my sanity and optimism. Most of the time I pretend that I am fine, hiding in the pretentious smile, wearing a mask of optimism but deep down I am losing it all. Sometimes I want to let this out, wanted to speak out and tumble; but I know I need to stand tall and be strong. I feel like no one understand what I am going through right now. How I wish I could talk to someone whose facing the same thing as I am.


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I am Crushed!

There are too many things that's bothering me lately; financially, emotionally and spiritually. Finances are getting tighter these days, I wanted to have our own place unfortunately there are unexpected finances that over rides our budget. Our boarding house are beginning to unfairly charged us with our water and electricity bill such additional charges is quite heavy for us. We found a townhouse near our work but it seems that that payment terms for the advance and deposit is too much for us to handle. In addition, I have to support my family and have made some financial debts. Too many expenses, less source of income and a huge head and heart ache. Emotionally drained in hoping and waiting for my priceless gift. Every month that passes is putting a heavy carriage of hope and then sadness knowing that I failed again. I am trying so deeply hard not to think of it and wait patiently yet I am only human capable of being impatient and losing hope. Now, as our 2 year anniversary is approaching the more I become hopeless, sad and lonely. People around me are keeping me positively optimistic yet they don't know the pain I feel. I'd rather not hear them say "it's ok, in the right time it'll come, be patient". I' am quite sick and tired hearing those, no offense meant though I appreciate there concern but it adds to the pain I feel. The more they asked, say, comment or notice that I am still not pregnant the more I remember that I am not and the more I am crushed. I'd rather let them pass the day without giving me reasons or trigger my memory on that count. I just want to lived the day as if it was a fine one. Trying to ignore and wait is hard, so at times they acknowledge that part of my life the more they keep reminding me of the pain and how hopeless I am. The long waited vacation we planned seems that it won't push through, again! I am so exhausted and abase. what I wanted is to have some time for me and my hubby to take a rest from all of these difficulties. A time to rejuvenate and contemplate hoping that this vacation may give me my strength and awakens my optimism. Why? What? When? How? Yes, again I am Crushed!

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Mama

A mother's love is incomparable,
it can never be changed nor measured.
She has a strong bond that could never be denied,
More than just a tie of the umbilical cord.

For 9 months you carried me,
Took care and loved me undeniably.
You loss PA when I was 2 months old,
But you stand up strong and carried on.

Ma, I couldn't live without you.
Without you, I would have been lost.
You showed me the way, made me through.
I couldn't imagine my life without you.

For all the things I didn't say,
About how I felt along the way--
Ma, I know I may have hurt you,
I am sorry, I have learned a lot from that too.

For your love knows no boundaries,
No questions and no hesitations.
I learned about love from you,
A love that's pure and true.

So, for all the times I didn't say,
The love I felt for you each day,
Ma, I made this poem so you can see,
Just how much you mean to me.

I love you Ma. Happy Mother's day.

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Mending Broken Friendship

A tear is shed for broken hearts,
As strong friendships falls apart.
A wasted bond which has been spun,
Weakened, battered and undone.

Wishing things could mend and heal,
That everything is all and well.
Forget the past so we would get along,
To one day, fix the things gone wrong.

Hear is my heart and hand I offer to you,
May this simple act fix the bridge that fell apart,
Forgive me for the sins I unconsciously have done.
Would you be my friend and let the pains be gone.

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You

I Love You that no words can fully explains.
Nor others wont even fathom this emotion I gain.
All I know is You are my life and nothing else matters.
My love for you is deeper and clearer like the oceans water.

The morning kisses and sweet good nights.
Or the great big hug and swing of laughter's flight.
The cuddles and tickles; the silly jokes and corny looks.
Makes the most precious days of my life.

I see you running over the court in half time.
Makes these heart beats faster like am running out of time.
When you make your famous move I shouts with pride.
Brings me to stand up on my bench and all smiles wide.

I couldn't imagine life without you by my side.
Nor wants to change anything that happened in my life.
For whatever life has given me, may it be afflictions or confusions.
It only brings down to my conclusion, that life itself is YOU.




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My Brightest Light

My brightest light Shines brightest when I feel I can’t make it through
Has shown more faith in me than I could ever do.
My brightest light never fades its shining power when I feel blue.
It only shines more brightly as darkness evades my life too.

Others may say "who am I supposed to be?"
But, my brightest light always make me feel free.
I don't need to pretend nor hide.
The only thing that matters is I could always be the real me.

Even when my brightest colors fade
I wouldn't worry at all because of you
my brightest colors were made

For you, my brightest light thank you for giving me reasons to smile.
You are a priceless jewel so rare to find.
For you are my brightest light.

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