A time to say Goodbye and Thank you! Tito Nato!

It’s been awhile since I posted here and most of the time I did is when I’m in my most vulnerable state. I am the kind of person that when I am in my most emotional status the more my mind set to extract its creative juices. Right now I am sad, sick and distorted. My stepfather died last November 1 and ironically it’s the same date my real father died too. My Pa left me when I am only 2months old due to cirrhosis of the liver. I grew up with my grandparents since I think I could remember around 3-5 years old. My mom is just around as well but because I am the first grandchild I was requested by my grandparents to stay with them. I grew up with stories my Ma told me about Pa like when he was sick and was brought to the city hospital he would request a phone to the ICU and call us up way back in our town to just even hear me cry over the phone was enough for him. Most of the town people would always say to me how friendly and kind my Pa is and how I really look like him. There were times when some of my Pa’s friend comes home and they see me for the first time would suddenly cry and call my Pa’s name saying how I really resembles him.

When my Ma remarries I only realized and understood it all when I was already in high school. I think she remarried when I was 7 years old, though I often get to spend time with her I was too young to understand what’s going on and why am I on that situation. Yet, I realized on my own that she has a new family and apart of the new is me. My step father is a simple man since I could recall he was just a silent type and doesn’t interfere with my Ma’s decision maybe because he doesn’t want me to understand it the wrong way. When my grandparents died it was the most throbbing experience I have ever encounter. My grandparents was my life then, they have brought me up to this world the best they can and gave me unconditional love. I don’t want to elaborate more about them because I am trying not to think because I couldn’t help to cry and feel the pain again. As much as possible I don’t want to talk about it not because I want to forget them totally but because I can’t help it but to cry whenever I could reminisce the times I was with them.

Anyways, when my grandparents died when I was 20 years old, I lived with my Ma and my stepfather whom I call Tito. There I felt how welcome I am in that home and how he considered me like her own. She would point out to others whenever they banter that I was his eldest child. In times when Ma is out of line when they argue I would defend him and he would sometimes tell me that Ma is arguing with him with nonsense and I would be there between them to explain My tito’s side. Now, he is gone and what I would really miss about him is the way he cook adobong manok, when we have small yet meaningful conversations and in the simplest things he does that makes me feel loved. He was so patient, understanding and humble especially when Ma got nothing to do but be a nagger. Yes, I do really believe that we usually realized the value of one person when they are already gone and how I wish that I could have been more open and vocal about how grateful I am for his love, patients and understanding to us especially Ma. It’s time to say goodbye Tito, thank you for the acceptance, love and care you have given me. I would really miss you. Please guide us.

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ladycat said...

Friend, our deepest sympathies during your time of loss. I really understand and know what you feel and bear right now. Please know that we are here for you...with love and prayers.

As I read your post, I couldn't control myself to be in emotional state because it reminds me of my childhood days without a father by my side. I could only say that you're such a lucky one because in spite of the fact that your biological father wasn't there for you but still you have a stepfather who showered you love and care. You're luckier than me because you've got the sweet feeling and bonding moments of living and dining together with your whole family in your home sweet home. For that I know how grateful you are of how your Tito Nato touched your life and brought you memories for you to keep and stay it alive.

Sabi nga ni Bro, ang pamamaalam sa daigdig na ito ng isang taong mahal natin sa buhay ay hindi nangangahulugan na habambuhay na siyang mawawala sa atin sapagkat siya ay patuloy na mananatiling buhay sa ating mga puso't isipan sa pamamagitan ng mga alaalang iniwan niya sa atin. Kailangan lang nating tanggapin at isipin na sila'y maligaya na sa piling ng ating Dakilang Maykapal.

Bro, pagkalooban po Ninyo ang aming mahal na kaibigang si RR at ang kanyang buong pamilya ng kalinga at pagmamahal na nagmumula sa Inyo. Pagkalooban po Ninyo sila ng grasya at lakas upang mapawi ang mga nakasasakit na karanasan. O Walang Hanggang Ilaw, tanglawan po Ninyo ang kanilang mga puso at pagkalooban po Ninyo sila ng panibagong usbong ng pag-asa.

Iam veRONIque said...

Damn! I got teary eyes from your message. Thank you so much!
We shouldn't say how fortunate and unfortunate we are in each endeavors or circumstances we face 'cause everything has great reasons and purpose to make our life more meaningful and better. Thank your for the prayer and for a great friendship you entrusted me. Regardless of the fact that you have a atypical family bare in mind that there are no such thing as broken family. A family is a family despite and in spite of the situation you may have blood is always thicker than water. You may not have the privilege of having a normal one yet you learn that in this world no one will stick with you above anything else but your family. And we as your friend may not be a apart of your bloodline but we are your family by deeds, heart and mind. So, we all have families it may not be perfect but surely it is unconditional. Thank you!

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