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Every woman dreams to be a mother one day. I, for one is eager and longing to be one. Yet, it seems that my time hasn't come yet. I am trying not to think of it nor even talk about it but my heart is killing me with pain, of longing, wanting and hoping that a life will blossom inside me. I don't know what to do anymore, I hide in the mask of pretense and smile with bitterness inside. Everyday as I sleep and woke up I would dream and it would just come out of my mind. Anything could happen as they say, I am still young but my heart is old enough to feel devastation and longing to have a child of my own. I am as writing this, is fighting the urged and the thought of having a child 'cause the more that I think about it, the heavier the burden in my heart!

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Why?!

Today, I am weak, I will mourn, I will cry the burden I carry is heavy.
It broke my spirits, it made me want to die!
My heart is pounding with worthless reason and a huge question why?!
This teary-eyes is smoking with pains that I can't deny.

Too many questions yet answers are few.
When all I wanted is to have you.
I look at those people who seems to be fine.
With the smiles they wore, I envy their pride.

A massive pain is slowly killing me inside.
There are a lot of thoughts to ponder and reasons to keep me alive!
But for this day I want to be weak, I want to cry and shout to the word.
Damn!!!!!!! WHY????!!!!!!!!!

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"I would rather have regrets about not doing what people said, than regretting not doing what my heart led me to and wondering what life had been like if I'd just been myself."

Our deepest fear is not that we are inadequate. Our deepest fear is REJECTION! We cannot deny the fact that all or most of us tend to try to please everyone we met in our life. The thought of rejection, unapproved relations, denial, an outcast and being

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